The Truth

I was just telling hubbykins my expectations in guys when dating and I realised half of it came from my parents. AND also the truth about dating.


a) Looks doesn't matter, his personality matters most. In 30 years time, they are going to have wrinkles, grey hair, become bald and their once-upon-a-time 6 packs is going to turn into ONE BIG FAT PACK - Mum (DAMN RIGHT!)
b) We have set a standard for you, stick to that standard. We don't want to see you living in a rented house and riding a motorcycle. We'd rather not want you to marry - Mum & Dad (Which parent doesn't want the best for their child right?)
c) Don't worry, you may not know how to cook now but the moment you tie the knot, you'll be an expert! Look at your Mum. I used to cook for her back in England - Dad
d) Don't worry, your boyfriend may be cooking for you now and promising the world to you. The moment the both you are married, things will change. Don't have high hopes - Mum (In response to (c). Also, she was referring to the time hubbykins cooked for us)
e) Avoid dating men who are shorter, or almost the same height, as you (Being a heels lover, this is something I cannot take! It feels weird)
f) Avoid dating men who smokes  - Me
g) Earn more than your significant other, hence, gain control - Me
h) Choose your significant other properly. We don't want to end up drawing your divorce paper for you. I know its free but please, don't take advantage of us - Mum
i) To know if he's a good man, check his relationship with his mum and the way he treats his parents as well as us - Mum (That is why, so far, the guys whom I've dated are REALLY REALLY close to their mothers)
j) The second he whacks you, DUMP HIM and tell us - Mum & Dad (well, its common sense)
k) Date for a minimum of 6 years before the both of you are engaged and be engaged for a minimum of 6 months before you tie the knot - Mum & Dad (True. I notice this trend among my cousins too!)
l) You've got brains and beauty. Wait for the guy to come instead - Dad
m) You know he's not the right guy for you if you feel uncomfortable walking around naked in front of him - Me
n) You know he's not the right guy for you if he just wants you to complete your degree and stay at home and NOT pursue your dreams - Me
o) If he spends money faster than he earns, DUMP HIM - Mum
p) He MUST know how to open durians, kill cockroaches, cook, and clean - Carven & Mum
q) He must have made a down payment for his first house using his hard earned money before you marry him - Mum (Hubbykins, she was referring to you. Remember this? When I told her that you wanted to move to KL?)
r) He doesn't mind the fact that you can't read and understand Chinese and that he has to be able to speak English properly - Me (gotta admit, I broke this rule once)
s) He must have his ambitions and isn't afraid of going after it - Me

Of course, we also have the typical 'he doesn't cheat and lie' and such. Girls, do you have any more ideas? If you are going to tell me 'his little brother must be at least 12 inches long', I'm gonna smack your head. Like HOW IN THE WORLD DO YOU EXPECT ME TO FIND OUT?

You just have to listen to this song.

Its a quarter after one and I'm a little drunk and I need you now (:

Till then, I'm sorry if I did offend anyone. That is why there is a content warning! 

xoxo, -carmen-

I Just

had rotten grapes. 

If anything happens to me, remember that I love my heels and my clothes and that my girlfriends can have every single one of them.

I just can't stop eating while I'm doing my work. And right now, I'm cracking my head trying to think of an imaginary company. I mean, I have a lot of imaginary companies in my head but developing it and analysing the financial aspects is just so..uhhhh... I

Work today was great! Had an excellent ticket sales average of £5.37 just within 5 hours. My manager was impressed and I felt good. I DO love my job. Previously, I gave tuition lessons and it was such a pain in the arse cause I don't have the patience to sit and teach. I realised that I'm the kind of person who cannot sit in the office, facing stacks of paperwork, praying that something interesting will happen in the office, i.e. someone faints, a baby pops out from one of my colleagues vagina, etc. I just need to move around, something upbeat. No matter how tiring and shitty I feel after work, I just enjoy my job now. 

My brain is so messed up right now. Must be the rotten grapes. Crap!

Till then, I foresee another long sleepless night

xoxo, -carmen-

Men

Painful, but true. No matter how  hot your boyfriend is now, he'll be a total opposite in, say, 30 years time. So why date a hot boyfriend in the first place when they are going to be fat and ugly in the future right? What a thought!

9 painful months. I ain't complaining no matter how much you have changed (oh, besides your 1001 excuses)


Till then, I'm grateful for all feedbacks on my dissertation. You know who you are (=


xoxo, -carmen-

Usher Makes Me Wet My Pants

You just have to listen to that song. Its so sexy, it makes you wanna strip and dirty dance with your bolster (I was referring to the girls. Guys stripping, errrrrr.....). My ass has been warming up my chair since 11am this morning (OMFG! THATS 13 HOURS NOW) and that song has been on repeat since then. His voice is so sexy, I wet myself just by listening to it. OKAY! You have to excuse the other side of me at the moment, I'm so stressed out my charcoal mask isn't even helping with the acnes. Grrrrrr!

I'm happy with my new laptop. VERY happy. Now I'm just wondering what I should do with my old laptop. Bring it back to Malaysia? Errrrr... Thats extra 3kg and do you have any idea how many extra clothes I could buy with 3kgs? 

Usher is so sexy, I want to marry him.

Owh, it took me the entire month to realise that February has 28 days and NOT 31 days. My dissertation is due on Friday, my I'nal Finance draft is due on the 1st of March. I thought I have 5 days to deal with my draft until.... You know what? I've got no idea how I actually realise that the month of Feb has 28 days. So, that leaves me Fri, Sat and Sun to complete my draft. I can't afford to screw this. Its my final assignment before I graduate, might as well give it my best shot, kan? And I just went to KFC yesterday to ask my manager for more hours (Previously, I requested for less hours for this week and my manager complained. Now I remember why I did that!).

I can be so smart at the most inappropriate times. SHOOT ME! (No I was just kidding, my dad will probably make you rot in jail for the rest of your life on top of 30 whips)

xoxo, -carmen-

If You Are Below The Age Of 18, Please Don't Blame Me

Let's talk about PORN. Yes, that four letter word. Oh to the guys who are reading this, if you are a big fan of porn, you might want to reconsider about reading this post cause it is probably going to ruin all your oh-baby-i'm-wanking-to-this-hot-girl-she's-so-hot-I-cum-within-15-seconds.

Some girls find it offensive to see their boyfriends jerking off to some other women (I admit, I'm one of them). I mean, don't you girls see it as cheating too? If your boyfriends truly love you, why should he watch some other girls in action? That same girl 238127563456 other guys jerk off too? 

You see, to girls, porn is porn. We don't care if you guys prefer amateur videos, MILFs, schoolgirl videos, hentai.. you name it, the internet has it. Porn is all about super-duper huge breasts (and because of them, I believe many ordinary women feel as though they need huge breasts to impress guys and to satisfy their boyfriends), pumped dicks (and at certain occasions, it looks bigger than the 1 litre ribena bottle which FREAKS THE HELL OUT OF ME. I mean WHOA! I don't want to end up in the hospital cause of a torn tissue in my small intestines. And guys, don't you think because of porn, women assume that the longer the dick is, the more pleasurable it would be? It kinds backfires right), fake moans (come on! FAKE MOANS? Are you kidding me? They moan so loud, its as though they are deaf!), tattoos and piercings at unimaginable places (EWW! imagine if a child sees it and goes 'mummy! why is there a butterfly above your vagina? Did you kill it?' Come on! leave your poor child alone), the 10 inches of make-up (You don't expect your gf to waste half a bottle of her MAC foundation just so that you could go around bragging 'my gf looks like Pam Anderson in bed' and at the end of the day, you'll have to fork out RM150 every week for her to buy a new bottle of foundation! And not forgetting the fake eyelashes) AND the whore heels (WHO THE HELL WOULD BUY THAT 10 inches of heels? Would you want your gf to wear that pair heels to bed only to have you make a visit to IKEA the next day to get a new mattress? Logically, which sane person would wear a pair of heels to bed? Unless that girl goes 'oh baby,we are going to have sex. Wait a moment, let me put on my whore heels. Its sexier!' POTONG STEAM!)

Some of you might disagree with me and say 'Hey, how about home-made videos?' I say, home-made is home-made and shall only be between you and your boyfriend (but then again, a neighbour of mine did tell me once, 'If you are going to have sex, never leave your evidence behind'. If it gets leaked into the Internet, well, just don't come and tell me that I didn't warn you).

To all men reading this, GROW UP! You don't have to jerk off every 4-5 days. Don't you get bored of the same old routine of preparing rolls of tissue/towel, downloading 40GB of pornographic materials, exchanging pornographic materials with your friends, ensuring that nobody could hear you moan/walk in on you while you are jerking off, you get the idea? Of course, making love with your girlfriend is totally different cause you are doing it WITH the person you love so it NEVER gets boring (if it does, it shows how much you truly love her).

Till then, I just potong-ed steam, didn't I?

xoxo, -carmen-

To 21 Years of Friendship and Counting

I was moved after reading KH's latest entry. Its not like I'm in love with him, please, don't get me wrong but I could somehow relate myself to it. I know this is freaky but yea, I still remember your anniversary date. He's a nice guy and I'll never forget what my dad did to the both of you at the gambling table with the handcuffs. I found it really cute and deep down in me, I was envious of how the both of you complete each other. Remember how we joked about you dating someone who looks EXACTLY like you? And your comeback was "At least I don't date someone who looks like my brother." Then I would shut my mouth.

I'm telling you now, straighten up yourself, you know you can do it and you always have me by your side.

I love you and I'll be back on the 25th of June.

xoxo, -carmen-

My First CNY Without My Family

Besides the fact that my family has been constantly rubbing salt into the wound that for some apparent reason, ang pau money has doubled up this year. Perfect timing! & I was partially abandoned by my family today because they were busy gambling with the rest of the Leong clan. 800 bucks in the pot and everyone was eyeing for it. Once again, perfect timing! & my brother won RM404 from the pot ALONE. He's only 10. Back when I was 10, I would be busy bugging Galvin, make him play Risk with me (my cousin, not my boyfriend. I know, its SO WEIRD sometimes) during CNY. & my heater broke down the DAY BEFORE it started snowing. PERFECTO! Now, my room is so cold, I'd rather sleep in the toilet. At least the heater there is working! Grrrrr! Maybe I should knock on my hot housemate's door and bunk in with him. Heee =)

So, CNY was a tad bit different. So what kan? Its all about the experience, though I had to work and all but I'm happy cause I'm getting paid (PAYDAY'S TOMORROW! WHEEE!). I have my "family" here and we had our private reunion dinner on the eve of CNY before hitting the casino. Yes, I ushered the year of Tiger in the casino and I did win and I realised that I could actually analyse the slot machines for roulette. I helped KJ win (partially) that night by predicting the slot machines. 

Preparation takes a lot of teamwork

Very intense moment

Maya and Mia, from Germany and Spain

I had a horrible thought with the potato

Peri-peri master

The Head Chef

Guess what the fruits are for?

Fruit salad?

YEE SANG! (more like Fruit Sang) 

And I improvised it while my mum came up with the idea.

IT WAS AWESOME! 

You definitely don't get this in Malaysia

Setting up the table

Lou Sang

A United Nations gathering.

Malaysians, Japanese, Spanish, German

The chefs

I'm so proud of the curry chicken

Yes, we did it

Phew! Thank God everyone loved it.

Want the recipe?

Naaaa... I don't kiss and tell. 

I make out and tell. Ask my boyfie

Steamboat :)

Had another reunion dinner last night (pictures will be up when someone uploads it on FB). I was glad that KJ and James dragged me there right after work. We had tong yuen, Klang bak kut teh (daphne's from Klang and yes, it was FCUKING AWESOME bak kut teh!), mixed veg and curry chicken. All in big pots! I've gained weight. Must. Detox. Soon.

Other than that, I realised that my parents are the coolest parents ever (I have never bothered noticing it previously. Manwyn agrees with me too!). Whenever I call them at odd hours, they'll ask "Are you even sober right now?" or "How was clubbing?" even when I wasn't clubbing/drinking. Sometimes, my dad would ask "How many shots did you take? Save some for me"

Oh, and yesterday during lunch, I had two customers who came up to me and asked what time I finish and that they would wait for me. Thank God I am well-equipped with Marketing skills and went "You Go-Large on your meals and I'll tell you" (Yes, our personal performance is also based on our Go-Large average) and so they did. They waited for an answer but I said "Come back tomorrow, Go-Large again, and I'll tell you this time. I promise." They laughed, had their meals and then came back and ask me again but I just smiled politely (They were cute by the way). They did not come back today, I think. Started work right after Uni today, 3.30pm. And at work today, I had at least 10 different people asking "Did you even sleep last night?" 

One more stressful week ahead and I'll be done with my dissertation!

Till then, G'night!

xoxo, -carmen-

p/s THIS doesn't count. One more day and it'll be gone, FOR GOOD. Period. 

Stressful Week Ahead

Stress has taken a toll on me. Besides the fact that my manager wants me to work full 20 hours though I've told him I only want 12 hours maximum per week, I've got two major assignments to deal with, both of which are VERY important to me. So, I was youtube-ing for songs which could go on replay and I found my long lost love

I don't know about you guys, but Bond has been my idol like forever.

You just have to check them out! Another song worth your time would be Viva. Its awesome kan? I know at one point, I had these two songs on replay in my room till I got my entire family listening to it!

I tell you, I need more stress-free music. Michael Buble has also been on my playlist especially Save the Last Dance for Me and his rendition of You'll Never Find Another Love with Nelly Furtado (I think that is the best compared to others and unfortunately, its not on youtube) and also I Finally Found Someone (I was so stressed up last night that I cried to it after listening for the 100th time. Like for real, I did listen to it for over 100 times!)

Till then, as always, I'm going to finish with a bang!

xoxo, -carmen-

Get Paid while Sitting Down

CNY and V-day fall on the same day this year and I'm NOT home! AHHH! Anyway, Happy Chinese New Year and Happy Valentine's Day! Yes, I did work on CNY and became a vegetarian the entire day and yes, V-day was just like any ordinary day. Nothing special besides receiving a Tupperware of jelly from KJ (Thank you! and if I do put on weight, you guys would know why).

Oh, and I thought of doing it while I was having my shower

Chessy much?

Come to think of it, I have NEVER celebrated a proper V-day before. Like the ones you read in novels. A romantic dinner, sleeping under the stars, a box of chocolates, a walk by the beach, a getaway... Na'ah! I tend to date guys who are hopeless when it comes to the subject of romance or they are just pure hopeless. 

I think I should stop reading romance novels cause it gives me fake hopes. And I think I should stop dating because I realise, the more I date, the more pro-feminist I'm becoming. I mean, girls these days can earn as much and be as successful as a guy. Also, the married ones not only have to deal with their careers, they also have to cook, clean, wash, take care of their children, their family, their in-laws and fulfill their husbands' sexual needs whereas men only have to focus on their careers.. Oh and football betting! Pffttttt... The idea of getting married is so not flattering right now.

Seriously, if a girl could earn as much (or even more) and is more successful than her significant other, she might be better off single ya'know? I think if that does happen, the reasons the girl is  dating would be: SECURITY, SEX and SUPPORT (yes, I did mention this to YPS previously and she agrees with me too). Whatever happened to true love. I doubt it ever existed. I think people are just in love with the idea of being in love. 

Oh God! Something's wrong with me. I suppose most of you would expect me to write a mushy entry since its V-day and bla bla bla..but hey! I'm not the only one cause this person has been "dead" for about 5 weeks now and the last entry was about getting mad at me. Its more like a place for that person to rant rather than to blog about mushy things (Yea, did you see the significant change since that person started? Think one of these days when I do erupt, I'll delete it for good. And I'm sorry, I don't except bullshit. The toilet does or perhaps, your mouth!) 

Till then, Happy CNY! (I'm not gonna say Happy V-day cause FCUK V-DAY when you get to collect ang paus!)

xoxo, -carmen-

Put A Bunch of Malaysians Together, They'll End Up Eating!

I just came back from a reunion dinner at Shanghai Nights organized by MSA. 11 quid per person for:

These

These

These

All of these

Yes, these too

And these (note: the table was REALLY full!)

ALL THESE!

And that, my dear, was only ROUND ONE.

James had to be the temporary waiter

Camwhorers!

 Now, round two was mainly the same as round one but with

THIS! (burrrppp)

Dessert was obviously Round 3. Followed by the usual YUM SENG!

Pisang goreng with ice-cream

YUMMMMMM YUMM YUMM YUMMM SENGGGGG!!!!

And guess what? 

TA DAA!!!

I won a 10 quid gift card from Topshop for being the Best Dressed Female! I smell.. SHOPPING!!!!!!! Should I buy a pair of heels, a top, a bag or accessories? 

The nominees had to do a catwalk in the restaurant. Thats hardwork!

One-fifth of us

Me and Hiro, my new Japanese friend

And that was what I wore.

But but but, I think what helped me most was my latest obsession! My new pair of heels, mucho gracias.

From left: My first ballerina flat (I'm gonna look short and stubby in it), my latest obsession (so gorgeous!) and my new pair of Uggs (New year, new shoes!)

I got my big fat pay slip today and just had to buy that pair of heels, just had to.

Got a staff meeting tomorrow at 9am. Going to bed now, tomorrow's gonna be a looonnnggg day. Reunion dinner at Daphne's house then clubbing (We have brought CNY to a whole new level). My dad's planning to come here in June/July for... I don't know. Think he's planning to have another family trip to Europe or MAYBE he's just going to abandon his other kids at home and come here with Mum or MAYBE he knows his daughter so well that he has decided to come here with an empty lugage just to help me carry my stuff home. HAH!

Oh God! I love my life.

Till then, Happy Sitting-While-Getting-Paid to the Unmarried Ones while to the Married Ones, Happy Paying-While-Meeting-Others!

xoxo, -carmen-

Substitute Ang Paus for a Good Laugh?

In my last entry, I said that this  post will be a rather ridiculous one. Here you go! Some of my darlings have been bugging me to do this and after a month, I've finally got around to doing it. 

Yours truly in her KFC uniform! I can imagine some of you laughing your asses off at this moment. HMPPHH!

Before work, neat with shirt tucked in.

Within 20 minutes during work, I'll pull my shirt out

and hope that my manager doesn't notice it.

But normally, I would just put on the KFC jacket from the office.

I look like I'm 3 months pregnant in the uniform or maybe, I did put on weight *gasps* The uniform is amazingly thin and its pretty chilly in the restaurant. My job is pretty tiring, its all about the speed and the accuracy, but its quite fun at times (minus the impatient customers). 

One of the customers lost her debit card today and only realised that it was missing after she has left the restaurant and DEMANDED that we go through the thrash! She was mad at us for not checking the trays. LIKE HELLO! Its not our responsibility dammit! Everyone felt like stabbing her for being bitchy. Not even a thank you after one of my colleagues found it. She just stormed out of the restaurant with her friend, and continued blaming us. God! People can be really rude. She was only, I don't know, 18? 

Point is, the next time you frequent a fast food restaurant, just be nice and be a tad bit patient. By giving a smile to the person serving you, you DO get better service ya'know? & a compliment does help you score an extra piece of chicken (that is if the manager isn't there)!

Financial news: I got my money today! Waiting for MAS and my travel agency to reply my email then I'll purchase my air-ticket.

Family update: My sister & mother are complaining that my brother takes more stuff back to Uni than I would normally do back in Nilai. He's becoming quite metro-sexual right now, reminds me of my boyfriend. Just not too metro-sexual okay? And my youngest brother (bear in mind that he is only 10 this year) said this:

" I don't have to study so hard for a scholarship already. Jie jie and gor gor have enough time to save up and pay for my education after form 5"

Oh God! Why must he be so smart at the most inappropriate time? He figured it all out! He wasn't suppose to know that his education is well taken care of (and to my future husband, I'm so sorry to tell you that I'm responsible for his education and I promised to send him to one of the top universities)

Till then, I need a loooonggggg break!

xoxo, -carmen-

Oopsie Daisy

Okay, I gotta admit, I broke my no-shopping pledge. I walked into Primark yesterday to return one of the items and get a pair of formal pants (my manager's been bugging me to get a new pair which adheres to the dress code) but ended up spending 30 quid on a dress, a new pair of Uggs, a pair of flats and tights on top of my pants of course! I'm actually stocking up for spring/summer. Ahahahahaha! And I gotta look for a dress for my CNY dinner this Friday. Shopping tomorrow, anyone?

Bank Negara just transferred money into my account today, expect to receive it in a few days time. I get to buy my air ticket home and my new laptop soon-ish! YEAY! I want CNY cookies, someone please be nice and send em to me by parcel. I want the white one which melts inside your mouth and chocolate cookies and pineapple tarts (I only want the ones made by my mum cause she stuffs a lot of pineapple in it) and MANDARIN ORANGES! Hmmphh! My mum laughed when I told her that I have to work on CNY. She said "Good for you! Otherwise I suppose you'll be at the casino? You'll be clubbing on CNY eve?" BINGO! She knows me too well!

I've decided, my next post will be a rather ridiculous one. So start stalking refreshing your page every hour over the next few days. You never know when you'll be lucky!

Till then, I'm loving my job especially when hot guys come up to me for their orders!

xoxo, -carmen-