Tata!

Okay, getting ready for my holiday to Perhentian Island. Will be spending my time with Sea, Sun and Water for the next 6 days. After that, its back to the books. 

Oh oh! I also can't wait to see Mr. Lim on the 6th. WHEEEE!!! Miss that bum so much (although he has the tendency of getting on my nerves for several nanoseconds)

Till then, tata for now!

xoxo, -carmen-

To YOU

It has never occured to me that we would actually be together.

Mr. Cupid made us take the longest road. 

Its frustrating to know that you have actually been there all the while.

Its also funny (and at times freaky) how we actually share so many things in common.

And you bloody hell know that I secretly pray every night to spend an extra minute with you.

You moved me to tears on 25.05.2009 for I have never thought that someone would go that far for me.

Now, I hold back my tears each time I open that box.

Or whenever I look at my middle finger.

Love, always and forever,

xoxo, -carmen-

My week

So 1st week of classes are over. Very unproductive I must say (with the exception of Human Resource Management). Have been going out with my babies in college since Monday. The good thing about NOT having your boyfriend in college is that you have SO MUCH  time to be with your besties! Haha. (Sorry baby, I just felt like being mean. I still sayang you). But then again, by being with my friends, I can forget the pain of being away from him especially when he's busy.

May the pictures do the talking since I'm too exhausted. I have been having retail therapy for the past 4 days! What more can a girl ask for right?

Yes, they made me do this and teased me! What are friends for, kan?

Thank God for technology!

So sweet! =P

At the National Registration Department. I was amazed!

 (Baby, you know what I'm looking at, right?)

My babies!

Dessert! I would love to have it with baby. 

Our lunch at Sushi Zan Mai

I fell in love with Pei San's mirror. LOL!

She looks forward to THE day

Ahhh.. I guess the title pretty much sums everything. Being miles apart from the person you care most is excrutiating. The thought of it swells up my eyes (especially before I go to sleep). Pffttt... 4 more nights (its shorter to count it this way) and I'll be able to spend at least 24 hours with him. Though it may be short, I just love every moment of it. 

If only I could stop time....

College is as boring as ever cause its only the first week of classes and most of it are cancelled. Not looking forward to my results though. Now that they have changed the grading system, I'm pretty sure my CGPA is heading downwards (or not?). Not that I don't have faith in myself but I'm trying NOT to have such high hopes. 

xoxo, -carmen-

I'm sorry

Confidence. Trust. Belief. Assurance.

The synonym for the words above? FAITH.

In the context of friendship, I have faith in all my friends. In fact, the minute you give me a good first impression, you have my trust already. 

The people I trust whole heartedly

In the context of love, that is a WHOLE NEW DIFFERENT STORY. I try to protect myself from the endless nights of crying. It takes me ages to actually have 100% belief in my significant other. I sometimes feel bad but I just cannot help myself to think of the worse case scenario when my calls are not answered or when my messages are not replied. 

My past 2 relationships ended because of broken faith. When it happened the first time, I repeatedly told myself not to let it happen again but I failed to secure myself from it occuring again. Life's a bitch! (So am I)

For the first time, I actually got myself into a LDR (Long Distance Relationship), not to say that its a bad thing. However, at times, it can be so difficult. I try to fight back the scenarios which keeps on playing in my head till I stress myself out so much that I just want to give up but I don't want to. I'll start throwing unnecessary fits and I know it hurts my other half. 

I just want him to know that it takes time for me to trust the person I love because of the events which has happened in the past and I'm learning to overcome it. I just want him to know that I'm sorry for dragging him along into this situation and all I need is time.

It is mine too, baby

He makes me smile everyday :)

(sorry girls, he's mine now and forever)

xoxo, -carmen-

Have you ever wonder

Just as I thought I lost Mr. Inspiration and that it will take me quite some time to blog about something meaningful, he appeared! As I was lying on my bed, ears plugged with my earphones, listening to T.I.'s "Whatever You Like" while thinking about my baby, Mr. Inspiration decided to give up on the hide-and-seek game and came back to me! Swooshh.. A gush of wind so strong that I had goosebumps.

Being a Woman In Love (this is so Barbara Streisand), I realised many things. For starters, I call my significant other "baby". Shereen herself calls her significant other "baby" too. Have you ever wondered why the term "baby"? Its not like your significant other is your newly-born child or for that matter, any other newly-born child. Maybe its because your other half is your newly-born love? Or because its something new? *yikes*

Then, I know people who call their better half (this normally occurs only when they are head over heels over someone) "abang". "Abang" means elder brother in English. Why "abang"?! Its like you are committing incest with your better half when clearly (and hopefully!) the both of you are unrelated. *horrible thoughts* No offence!

Putting that aside, I know people who call their worse half (this is normally true) by the name of Food. Being a Malaysian myself, that four letter word is indeed constantly running in my mind but calling your worse half "sugar" and "honey". Hmm...thats what I serve with when I have roti canai. Its like you hate your worse half so much that you have decided to call him/her "sugar" or "honey" and whenever you have roti tissue/canai, you got the feeling of gobbling him/her. Try calling him/her "nasi lemak" or "puttu mayam". Isn't that ROMANTIC?

Of course, we have the typical "darling" and "dear". But I think, that can be referred to anyone in general. My own conclusion is that when two people fall in love for the first two, three, four year, they start by using names like "baby". Some might get so used to it  (and on most cases, they forget the name of their significant other) and will continue calling their significant other "baby". Sooner or later, the word "sugar" or "honey" is being used. That's when hell breaks lose. 

Girl: Baaaabbbyyyyyy..... *while kissing and caressing her significant other* is it okay if I call you "honey" or "sugar" just to spice things up?

Boy: But why, baby? You have been calling me "baby" for 4 years now

Girl: *trying to control her emotions* 5 years!

Boy: Well, I meant 5 years. I cant think straight when you are turning me on. Whatever it is that you call me, I'm fine with it cause I still love you *big boy rises*

Girl: I LOVE YOU SUGAR!!! *big kiss on the face,switches off the lights and goes to sleep*

And that's when the girl goes to the Mamak almost every night with her girlfriends to have roti tissue.

xoxo, -carmen-

p/s I would like to apologize if I DID offend anyone or if anyone of you thinks that this post is ridiculous. Oh and baby, this won't happen to us, hopefully.

I need to be Inspired before I Expire

ARGHHH! There are so many things which I have yet to do before the new semester opens. I have just realised that I have been lazing around for God knows what reasons. On my to-do list, I have:

a) shopping with my girls (they r at every single part of malaysia & the world)

b) watching movies (yes,sadly,this has yet to happen)

c) lepak with weyz, simon and dinesh (i miss the good ol' times)

d) go to Penang

But all I have been doing for the past few days is sleep, eat, watch Oprah (Shusshhh), facebook, eat, facebook, watch heroes, sleep.

Life.

xoxo, -carmen-

When reality strikes

The semester break is coming to an end *NOOOO!!!!* and I guess its time to make my quarterly resolutions again. There are many things which I would want to achieve for the next four months but let's just be realistic here.

a) Of course I'm aiming for 4A's again. The least I would go for would be 3A's and 1B. Must not allow my CGPA to fall below 3.75
b) LOSE WEIGHT! (I lost 1kg since Jan 09. Whee!)
c) Be a better gf
d) Avoid procrastination.

Hah! The next semester will be my final semester in Nilai. The thought of leaving Malaysia for about a year (I want to come back during Xmas!) is dreadful. I don't want to leave my friends, family and of course my baby. At the end of each day, I know that I'm one day closer to leaving the country. Not that I don't want to cause its been a dream to study overseas but argghh! its so difficult to explain what it feels like leaving the people I love behind.

I hate this part right here.

xoxo, -carmen-

I was watching Oprah yesterday and it was about mid-life crisis and how we can embrace it by changing out perception. Its not like I'm going through mid-life crisis or whatsoever. Not. Yet. My point is, she noted out that "when we are in our 20s, we tend to be so greedy that we take whatever is in front of us without thinking. Our life moves at a very fast pace that we don't have time to stop and think whether it is a correct choice or not."  BULLSEYE!

Everything moved so quickly  for me for the past 2 weeks or so. I'm actually pretty used to it. Although I'm a stubborn-headed person, I decided to listen to Oprah and took the time off to think about the events which has happened chronogically, weighing the pros and cons of each of the choices which I have made so far. The good times and the bad times. I always have the fear of making the wrong choice but I keep telling myself that if I ever make the wrong choice, I'll just take it as it is and learn from there. Ahh.. its easier to be said than done, trust me.

My life is great right now after having almost everything sorted out. ALMOST.  Got a positive balance in my bank account to shop, being able to be with my family, made up my mind on which Uni to go to, have planned out my life for the next 8 years or so and best of all, I never thought I would actually find a great guy who'll be by my side after what has happened but I did (and he's better. Buzz of, bitches! He's mine!)! He has been there for me all the while but I did not realise it *smacks forehead*

The choices I made so far made me who I am today and I think I should do this more often: To reflect on my life occasionally. It makes me feel good :)

xoxo, -carmen-

What A Girl Wants

DIAMOND?

GOLD?

A BIG HOUSE?

A NICE CAR?

A HOT GUY?

What do all the above have in common?

*5 seconds later*

*Come on, THINK!*

*30 seconds later*

MONEY LAA!!! (If you have the ka-ching, thats probably why you have a hot guy by your side willing to do ANYTHING for you, although you got a face so ugly that only your mother could love. He's after your money, NOT YOU!)

You know what I want? (Its MY blog. Screw you) 

I want to wake up every morning and smile when I see your face.

I want to hug you to sleep every night.

I want to see you going to sleep at night.

I want to wipe those tears away from your eyes.

I want to go through thick and thin with you till death do us part.

I want to stare at your eyes for hours, days and years.

I want to look into your eyes and put your hands on my heart and say "I'll never leave you".

I want to earn your trust. 

I want to learn to not to be jealous so easily and to trust you.

I want to tell you that I'll always be there for you.

I want to tell you that you are The One.

I want to tell you that I'll do whatever it takes to make sure that we stay together.

I want to tell how my heart skips a beat just by thinking about you.

I want to tell you that I can't stop falling in love with you.

I want to tell you that you are beautiful both inside and outside.

I want to tell you that I have so many things to tell you.

I want to turn my back against you each time I cry.

I want to stop arguing with you.

I want to let you know that I'm sincere.

I want to prove it to you that I'm strong.

I want to make sure that you are safe and comfortable with me.

I want to teach you to forget about the mistakes which we have done in the past.

I want to give you the assurance that I'm not going to repeat my mistakes.

I want to let you know that everything I say so far is not a lie and I will never lie to you.

But above all that, I want to kiss you, look into your eyes and say "I Love You".

xoxo, -carmen-

P/S Don't cry :)

She's back!

I love sunbathing

God knows what I was thinking

This is good

Let's do da Victoria Secret thing

Love the scenery

Me flying a kite

Group hug

Our dinner

She looks gorgeous

Our first snorkelling trip

Hope you get the message baby. LOL!

You know I do

And no, its not what you think it is

Meditating :)

Ahh! I'm back from my trip to Redang Island. It was AWESOME. All I needed was my baby to be there with me and everything would be PERFECT-O. Stayed at Redang Reef Hotel. The people there are really nice and they kept on stuffing us with food. This was our schedule:

7am-9am: Breakfast

9.30am-11.30am: Snorkelling

12pm: Lunch

1pm-2pm: We would normally go to our favourite spot to sleep

2.30pm-4pm: Snorkelling

4pm: Teatime

5pm-7pm: Free n Easy

7pm: Dinner

We felt like pigs but thats the point of the holiday. Took tonnes of pictures. Go check out my facebook. 

So, came back with a flu. Feeling better now cause baby is showering me with tonnes of love although we are miles apart.

 

xoxo, -carmen-

Baby, you are not suppose to read this

OMFG IM SO BLOODY EXCITED!!!!

(Sorry God, I know I'm not suppose to put the F in front of the G)

Can't wait to hit the beach and just relax there with my babies and take loads of pictures! Will be away till Friday :) My to-do list while I'm away at the beach:

1. Get a proper tan
2. Try not to ignore him too often
3. Try not to get too drunk
4. Try to BEHAVE :)
5. Hook-up with a hot guy

LALALALALALALA!!! I'm pumped up! Love my bikini..

(Note to self: LOSE WEIGHT!)

xoxo,-carmen-

I told YOU so

Wanna know the best thing about my bestfriends?

1. You tell them your problems, they listen to you then try to help you out.

2. You think that they may be right but somehow you ignore their advice after a few days.

3. You go back to them and tell them what you have screwed up.

4. And they'll say, "I TOLD YOU SO".

5. They make you feel so bad that you end up crying.

6. Then they feel bad.

7. And things start from square one again.

Thanks Farid, I should have listened to you from the very beginning. I'm now at Stage 5 (and will probably be stuck there for quite some time). You were right when we spoke bout it at the canteen. I'm just lost emotionally. You saw it coming earlier than I did and I have to admit that I was stubborn. 

Day in, day out, I try to hold back my tears. I do not want to cry in front of my family. I have so much things to do during these two weeks (i.e. filling up those Uni entrance forms, testimonial, etc) but all I could think of is "Is he out with some other girl?" or "He's probably kissing/hugging/holding hands with her" or "Maybe I'm just on his 'to-do' list (if you know what I mean)" or "SHUT UP CARMEN! YOU GOT NO RIGHTS TO SAY ANYTHING!!" 

xoxo, -carmen-

She puts on her party dress

WHEEE!!! Now that exams are over, PARTY!! (Okay, minus the fact that I have yet to overcome the trauma I experienced during the Management Info System paper. We walked into the examination hall thinking that it would be a three-hour paper only to find out that it was changed to a 2-hour paper. &$%@!!)

So, 30th of April, we hit Heritage Row without any clubs in our mind. Ended up at Upstairs @ The Loft. Coincidently, there was also another event there for the girls and the guys could only get in at 11pm (HAH!). God knows what they did out there for 30minutes. Galvin came up to KL (FINALLY!) and it was such a relieve to see him after all that I've been through. okay,screw the emo part

Partied all night long with booze and had tonnes of fun (you know what I mean, baby)!  Pei San ended up puking in the glass and it was hilarious, in a way. Ahh.. I'm mean.. Has to be the vibes I have been getting from certain someone. And yes, after that, Dinesh came from Poppy with his friends and there were 7 of us sandwiched in the Myvi (or at least I think its a Myvi) to Bangsar cause that smart ass parked his car there (I still love you Dinesh).

Got home SAFELY and the 3 of them (Pei San, Dinesh, Galvin and I) were sleeping in my room. For once I felt loved, I mean I get to be in the same room with my best guys and girl friends. Its like a slumber party! (Dang, should have made the boys wear pink pyjamas and put on make-up for them and do their hair). We barely slept the whole night (except for Pei San) and the first thing we did was to grab food at the Mamak nearby. *yikes* 

Think I'll stop here. Really tired. Have not recovered from Labour Day celebrations (Screw you, I celebrate Labour Day too). 

xoxo, -carmen-

P/S She can't stop thinking bout you