The difference between deprivation and addiction

Being deprived from shopping, alcohol, football and the partying gets on my nerves! For the past two months, I have been partying like a mad cow and Im so not used to it right now. I miss the people at TUPN. I miss partying with them and mamaking every weekend. Assignments and finals! GGRRRR!! The cause of the acnes and also my outrageous behaviour these days. Smoking like a chimney is not something I would opt for. Pfftttt....I so cant wait for Nov 11!! I have LOADS of plans up my sleeve!

xoxo,-carmen-

The best meal ever

*Burpppp*

Just had dinner with my friends. Yes, I cooked! Okay, that was a partial lie. I prepared the ingredients together with my darling girlfriends. Then Wang Tao did most of the cooking. It was mouth-watering. It was delicious. Scrumptious. Salt, sugar,soy sauce,garlic,minced pork,chicken,vegetables,oil and of course LOVE. That was our recipe.

So while they are doing the cleaning, here I am blogging. Alright, shall stop here and see how they can put me to good use :D

xoxo,-carmen-

No more a party virgin

Aarghh!Hangover!Its like a beat is constantly playing in my head!

Okay,so it all started out on the 23rd of october right after my Business Comm presentation..MOS! THE place to be! Had 2 glasses of whisky,a shot of tequila and god knows how many glasses of Carlsberg..it got even worse as I started smoking..went to the dancefloor and things got WILD..reached college only at bout 4.30am and yes,im still suffering from the hangover right now..my feet hurts thanks to the 4inches heels and all the dancing..but at least i know i had a great time :D again,thank you to those who made my 19th birthday an unforgettable one..and for the next 2 weeks,i shall try to be a party virgin again :P

p/s Shereen,from the bottom of my heart,im sorry bout the news about ur father..i know he is a great man as u r a very nice girl. and u know that I.LOVE.YOU.

xoxo,-carmen-

Happy Birthday to ME

"One year older = One year less to live"

Saw Xiao Jun

After all these years, as I sit back and ponder upon my future, I actually realized that my future wholly depends on my past and my present. The options given to me, the choices I make. Loads. Thank God, the decisions that I have made so far since I was young have been the right one. It isn't easy I must say. 

The people I have met throughout my life have influenced me. I am who I am. I would like to thank everyone who knows me. Thanks for teaching me the right and the wrong. Thanks for being there for me. And thanks for backstabbing me (you know who you are. Oh yes, YOU DO!). Without these people, I would not have learnt to be a B.I.T.C.H.. And don't get me wrong, I have my own definition for B.I.T.C.H.. 

"Beautiful Intelligent Talented Causing Hard-ons"

Well, Happy Birthday to me!

xoxo,-carmen-

A Bittersweet weekend

I never like it when I'm ill. Well, technically, who does? Was ill for 4 days(and that took a toll on me). Yes people, I did not party for a week. Im a party virgin for now :P 

It all started on wed morning. I was restless during my sleep and I had NO idea,let me tell you. Then woke up feeling woozy and all. Went for econs class and our dearest lecturer just HAD to make things worse :S Went to the clinic and was diagnosed with high fever. Grrrr.....Went back to college with a handful of medications prescribed. Started on my "spree" and whoopiee......it became worse! Thank God I had my beautiful people around me. Eddie and Pei San are like my "H2O Guards". Always reminding me to drink loads of water and not allowing me to have my choc bread but CORN bread T.T My friends for being considerate. Then Wang Tao, for staying up late just to take care of me. Sponging me every now and then. Cooked for me. And my dearest parents who had 2 drive all the way up 2 Nilai to fetch me back home as I wasn't getting better.

 So why a bittersweet weekend? Simple. All I could taste in my mouth throughout the weekend was bitter cause of the medication. And sweet cause the people I love poured SO MUCH of love that I am able to type this right now :)

xoxo,-carmen-

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

The 7 letter word.

I have lived on this planet for 19 years(well, almost). Throughout this amazing journey, I have met people from all walks of life. I have the tendency to observe others before getting to know them better. People who respect those around them, people who does not give a damn about others(bleahh), people who only respect the opposite sex, etc.

It is funny how we are all different in so many ways. You respect others like how you would want to be respected. All these while, I have always tried to please everyone. However, recent incidents have changed my perception about life. You may love and respect your parents a lot but when it comes to other older people, you just could not care more. You may love and respect your girlfriend but when it comes to other girls, you just have the biggest ego in the world. You may love and respect your sister(s) (and on certain occasion,you protect them) but when it comes to your friend's sister(s), you just think that they are immature.

Sadly, we are all two-sided.

Some people just have to learn the hard way.

I have been taught since young to not give up easily in whatever I do and because I am just being me, I AM A FIGHTER. When I was in high school many years ago, this particular girl successfully managed to bring down my reputation (can't blame her as she was an immoral person and did not know the meaning of R.E.S.P.E.C.T.) just by spreading rumours. Within a few weeks, everyone found out the truth and *snap* what goes around,comes around.

If i were to go down, I'll make sure someone would go with me ;)
Oh, no pun intended :D

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

xoxo,-carmen-

Carmen's wishlist

Oct 1. That makes 21 more days left to my birthday. HAH! I am that vain at times but who are you to judge me anyways? My wishlist: *hint hint*

a) A new wardrobe and that includes new pairs of heels, etc.

b) A holiday. Best if with Mr. Beach

c) A car. A Myvi or a Pesona is good enough :)

d) Club!Club!Club! (of course,with unlimited alcohol)

e) World Peace =)

okay,think that's about it.of course the best way is just to give me an open cheque and all problems will be solved!LOL!

xoxo, -carmen-

(Wo)Men's "best" friend

"ARGGHHH!!!"

Imagine the alarm clock ringing continuously and no matter how hard you try to stop it from ringing, it just DOESN'T work! Imagine your neighrbour's dog barking when you are trying to catch up on your sleep! Imagine your brother playing the drums with a monotonous rhythm while you are meditating! Imagine the hustle and bustle of Masjid Jamek during lunch break! Yes, the little things which annoy each and every one of us. Life's a bitch (so am I). 

Things have been going haywire these days. The moment I step out of my room at 7.55am for class, I would turn back and wonder when I could lie on my bed and wander off to a whole new different world while reading my favourite novels. During the weekdays, I would be busy running around straightening things up for the Dive-Licious Splash Party, attending lectures and meetings with the Rugby Club members. By now, I am pretty much used to walking in heels all day long without feeling the pain *sigh*

Despite all that, I look forward to the weekend. I get to meet my beloved people during the shooting of the reality TV show im in. We do great things and have LOADS of fun. Oh, not forgetting the clubbing after that =D (I do not like judging by the way. The thought of someone leaving is nauseating!)

Basically,that is my life. Stressful, yet interesting. When I finally get back to my room, my cellphone would beep and "Wang Tao" would appear on the screen. DANG! I have totally neglected him throughout the day. I feel bad because he has to  deal with my rollercoaster emotions. At one moment, I would be angry then within a blink of the eye, I would be laughing. The number of times I have threaten to end the relationship. The number of times we argued. Drama,drama, DRAMA! All within the month of September. 

I feel so tensed and I look REALLY pale at times without make-up (and yes,to those of you out there, make-up is vital! Ever heard of grooming? You may look HOT or BEAUTIFUL but come on! Put some god damn colours on your face!) 

xoxo, -carmen-

Another week of emotional pain...

Alright,just got back from the 2nd week of The Ultimate Prom Night(TUPM). It was amazing this week. Checked in at Tunes hotel at Jalan Sultan Ismail(yes,the heart of kl). My roomie was SHEREEN! All thanks to Farhan, we were clubbing at poppy's. Ivan was supposedly my "date" for that night. By the time we got back,we were tired and stuff. The next day, we had a MallHunt challenge at One Utama. Was amazing! We were split into 2 groups. We had to:

a) Task 1: Baseball.(Biren showed off his skills!It wasn't easy!)

b) Task 2: Snap a pic of a random person whom we think is beautiful.(Radhea did this.Simple.)

c) Task 3: Rock-Climbing.(Jian conquered his fear!He didnt even tell us that he was afraid of heights!)

d) Task 4: Snakes!(I had to do this after Zye backed out!Carried the python,cleaned its cage,gave it water and put it back into its cage!The snake was damn big and heavy!)

e) Task 5: Futsal.(Zye did this. I wanted to do it so badly.)\

f) Task 6: Book Hunt at MPH.(Danial's task.Ok,we screwed this challenge by not reading the instructions properly)

Anyway,the we lost by 10 mins and had 2 face the judges for elimination. Radhea and Biren left us this week and I cried the moment we got out from the War Room over at 8TV's office. Mixed feelings. I have learnt a few things this week:

a) NEVER drink Bloody Mary(tomato juice + vodka)

b) My legs are not meant for walking!

c) Failure is a success and success is just a plus point

d) I will always miss Biren and Radhea. In fact,I miss everyone on the show already!Great people brought together!

e) Ivan needs something to tame his microscopic junior

f) NEVER stay in a room with 4 guys cause they will end up pinning you down and will tickle you!

xoxo,-carmen-

Silence is golden..maybe,maybe not?

I stood there in total silence. Enjoying the moment all to myself. I could here my heart beating. Tick and tock were music to my ears. Strange. The breeze was blowing against my face. "Better than sex, for now," I said to myself. I snapped back to reality. The clicks of stiletto heels, the upbeat ring tone, the flips of pages, the vrooms of car engines, the chitters and chatters. I screened my surroundings and realized that everyone was too busy steering their ships. Too busy to say "Hello" or put an upside down frown on their faces! Yes,life is like a ship!We are too proud of it, yet, the slightest mistake could drown us. I tried to think out of the box. Out. Of. The. Box. It struck me. At one particular point of time, I felt like a genius. "I shall change the world!" I shall get up every morning with a smile on my face and kiss the one I love. I shall say "Hello" to the people I meet. Hug my babes. Start with something simple and I shall develop it from there. It was as simple as that.

"Silence is golden"

Maybe,maybe not? 3 simple words formed to bring great meaning. 3 simple words which changed my life.

xoxo, -carmen-

Missing all of you!

22 great people I have met over the weekend

"and the next finalist is.....Carmen!"

those were the words which I will never forget.Yeay!I managed to get into the top 12 of The Ultimate Prom Night.It is a reality tv show which will be aired on the 5th of november on 8tv.every thursday at 9.30pm(and it is during primetime!yikes!).I met 22 other great people during the weekends.yes,it was tiring but we had fun staying till 12.45am to do our shooting and only get 3-4hours of sleep and on sunday,it was more activities!great people over there.I miss you guys already though we only knew each other for about 1 and a half days *sigh* will never forget arvin and his sleeping poses(he sleeps everywhere and anytime!),daniel and his ego,nicolette and her beautiful smile,shereen the hottie,rhea the other hottie,radie the determined girl,ivan the horny guy,victor the cutie,colin and his games,eeyan and his piercings,belinda the gorgeous,wai ling the sweetie,zye the tough girl,atiqah the rocker,fatin and her takeshi kaneshiro,jian the shy guy,adam the macho guy,felicia the innocent one, byren the snoop dogg,farhan the playboy...err..crap!i cant remember the names right now..but anyway,u guys were great!yeay!at least we know that out of all the people,we were the top 23 in the whole of Malaysia!to aaron tan and tania(our producers) and to all the 8tv crew,u guys were great!oh esp our hairstylists and our make-up artists.well,will see 11 of them in sept and to the rest,see you guys on the 5th of december!

xoxo,-carmen-

SHOCKING!

ok,already I have to take 5 subjects(killer!) this semester and also organize two events and I just got the most shocking phone call ever!I was shortlisted to be one of the contestants for The Ultimate Prom Nite hosted by 8tv. YIKES! >.<> make-up sessions!) and all I had to do was just smile in front of the camera(something which I don't think is a problem) and talk in front of the camera for a minute(its like talking to yourself).So yea,ahhh!!!!I have so many things in my mind now.So many things to be done in such a short time!I have to admit Im nervous and excited.Will have to be at Sri Pentas this Fri-Sun(yeay!staying with new people) for some grooming session and a personality camp or whatever it is.Its something new and Im looking forward towards it.I do hope that I get a lot of support from my family and friends.Guys,just bear with me if Im too busy to layan you k?Will make it up to you guys!

xoxo,-carmen-

Bleahhh

ahhh!my assignments are starting to pile up!!pffttt...I have decided to start studying for my finals..its 4 mths away..just felt like doing so x) so,yes,my econs book is opened and its right in front of me..back in college and here comes another week of my hectic life..cant wait to get out from this place next yr :S Hadi,if u r reading this,i know ur life sucks right now cause u just found out that u got chosen for the National Service..haha!at least you will start praying consistently after this..don worry,no matter what happens,I love you boy!okie,gotta sign off and be a N.E.R.D.

xoxo,-carmen-

This is life

YES!my f.a.v.o.u.r.i.t.e. word!had 4 days of shopping in a row last weekend with my babes and went shopping 2day and WILL be going again 2morrow.YIPEE!!have loads of things in my mind now.

a) thinking bout him
b) where to go during the hari raya hols?
c) how do I get sponsors for my event?
d) should I go to china at the end of this year?
e) can I tackle this sem?
f) what else should I buy when I shop 2morrow?

bleahhh..okay,I dont want to worsen the situation.those are just one quarter of the things I have in mind now.

hmmm..I have been really upset over what I have read in the newspapers last 2-3 days and also 2day bout the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics. Firstly, the small girl who got replaced cause she has uneven teeth(?). Isnt it unfair to judge a person by how she looks?I mean,come on,she's just a little girls and little girls have uneven teeth.what were the organizers thinking?If im not mistaken,one of them said "we just want to portray the right image of China" or something like that,then im just so ashamed of being a Chinese.My grandfather came from China.My boyfriend is from there too.And also,in today's newspapers,apparently,the girls had 2 be stripped so that their "bone measurements" could be taken before being chosen to perform on that night.1.66m and pretty?WHAT?havent these people heard of DISCRIMINATION?argghh!I would be ashamed if I were to be a Chinese(from China). Technically,I am and yeah!im so ashamed of being a chinese at this moment!I really hope that these people would change their mentality.oh well,all the best to Lee Chong Wei.Really hope that he can deliver a gold for our country.

xoxo, -carmen-

The God of Small Things

Here I am sitting in front of my notebook,blogging after reading that book,drinking my chocolate cereal drink for dinner while listening to Feel The Beat by Da Rude. Its funny how things work at times. Karma, deja vu -or whatever they call it- all seems unreal to me at times but heck! it has happened to me several times! Once again, I don't know how all these come around. My point is that no matter how hard we try at times, at one point of time, we will stop and wonder "What will happen if I were to do this instead of that?" We sometimes break rules in order to achieve satisfaction or rather to get what we ACTUALLY want. Yes, I admit, I can be very selfish and self-centered at times especially when I know what I WANT but guess what? I am not the only one! You know,the best part about life is, to those who have yet to realize, we condemn about others but without realizing that we are actually doing it. Based on this book, my favourite line is, and I quote,

"They all crossed forbidden territory.
They all tampered with the laws that lay down who should be loved, and how.
And how much."

xoxo,-carmen-