Got Milk? Got Guinness?

Hewo!

Gravity is such a bitch when carrying a laptop while walking downhill.

Was at uni today to meet my supervisor and voila, first attempt and I got my research question approved. Now, the troublesome part begins.

Got milk? 

Got Guinness?

Till then, don't be naughty naughty!

xoxo, -carmen-

Do I look like European Union to "EU"?

I've been having pretty weird dreams for the past two weeks or so and I thought it was the stress of sitting around the corner awaiting results to be published but it has been continuing over the past few nights.

Is this a sign of stress? Perhaps I subconsciously realise that my dissertation research is a pain and that I am probably behind schedule? 

A screenshot of Pajek (pronounced Pa-yek) that needs to be paired with BoardEx. 

Downloaded the application and went WTF!

Maybe something is bothering me deeply and that I have yet to acknowledge the obvious? 

Maybe it is a sign of bad/good fortune? I do hope that its the latter! 

'Me no want nemore bad fortune from eu' 

Notice how annoying it is for a full grown adult to spell like that. I find is superduperannoying when someone spells "YOU" as "EU" (Whenever I come across that spelling, I have to bloody read the sentence twice because it doesn't make sense at times).The least you can do is to respect the person whom you are talking to by referring to that person as YOU not "U" or "EU"(ewww?). I think it is faster to type "YOU"; those three alphabets are practically neighbours! Seriously, I'd rather have someone refer to me as "U" rather than "Eu". What am I? European Union?

Till then, 'If I'd observed all the rules, I'd never have got anywhere' - Marilyn Monroe. 

xoxo, -carmen-

A Clean Slate?

Exams are over, results are out, final phase of my Masters right now then graduation before my 22nd birthday, yeay! 

As you would have noticed (or not?), I've relocated my blogspot address mainly because.. I shall not bore you with the details.

First things first, I believe that every girl should own at least one perfect LBD (No boys, LBD doesn't stand for Libido, thankyoucumagain) with a perfect pair of heels. I took ages (well yes, an exaggeration) to find my perfect LBD last year and then onwards, I started to have an obsession with dresses, except that I have to stick to my budget. One day, I'll have gazindos of dresses to wear that I don't have to worry much about the ka-chings. 

 A special connection between us despite all the disagreements we had

Hugs and Kisses as we have nailed our Condom proposal

Life isn't a party for me right now, a 360 degrees change! But I suppose its true that as you become older, you seek for stability. Relationship-wise, I shall not dwell on it for I have no say in it, at least for now. Just let me go all out for my dissertation, hopefully have my first academic article published in one of the highly acclaimed journals and I'll be one helluva happy girl!

Till then, “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." - Albert Einstein. 

xoxo, -carmen-

Now I Remember

You know how you will make statements like 'I'll never cook because of [insert silliest reason]' or 'I'll never date a guy who smokes and drinks' and then you go on to doing it and when shit happens you go 'AH! NOW I REMEMBER'?

Yes, I think it happens to everyone. You can ask Mr. Simon Chow and he can tell you that I once said 'I'll never date a smoker' but hey, as far as I can remember, the last three men I dated/slaved for are smokers. 

Then, I once said (and still say it till this very second) that 'I'll try my best not to cook sizzling oil freaks the shit out of me'. Recently, I tried helping out in the kitchen and ta daaa

See that three red dots?

I'm being childish here. Some of you are even laughing. But I have a fear. Fear of sizzling oil. 

Ahh well, the idea that 'Women must cook to please their men' is just so overrated. Women back in the World War days had to stay at home because of their safety. Women today, well, WE are as smart and as hard-working as men and WE can earn as much money as men. It is just that men would rather have their significant other earn lesser than them because of their personal ego. WHAT THE HECK? Look at it this way, why the hell will any man want people to say 'oh his wife is all beauty but no brain'? Also, if you are a parent, I am very sure you will want your son to have a wife who can bring home some ka-ching instead of a wife who sits at home and depend on your son, no?

Back to my initial point, some may not admit this but we are all a bunch of hypocrites. It is the degree of it that differentiates one person from another. I remember saying 'I'll never date someone who can't speak english' but yeah.. I shall not touch on that issue.

So many times I sit and wonder if for all the times I said 'never', I'll actually end up doing it. I am sometimes afraid that I'll use the 'never' list to define myself. It is hard to resist temptation at times. I struggle to get out of it but I eventually fall deeper into the uncanny traps. I am in my early 20's and this is the time I take to do aplenty of soul searching. I dare take risks, I dare fall and I know that for each time I fall, I'll come back even stronger. What if, touchwood, I fall into a hole so deep I find it hard to stand up on myself? 

In a bid to achieve one of my many dreams

I did it before reaching the age of 22.

Thank you to those who once thought that I was nothing but a airheaded bitch

'Always and Never are two words you should always remember never to use'

xoxo, -carmen-

She's so cute, I'm gonna die!

So I may have promised a certain person that I will not party but a girl's gotta let loose sometimes. I swear that the marketing management assignment is sucking the life out of me. I see volcano eruption on my face. Boo hoo! But thank God for Santuary Spa products and my favourite Touche Express and Touche Eclat by YSL. Boo hoo no more!

 Vain's not the name. Confidence is 

Girls

 More girls

 Damn you Jaeger Bombs! You kept me up the whole night

 You just know it when you have made a wrong decision

 Boys in the girls toilet

 I love it when I call you and you answer 'What you want bitch?'

 After so many months

 'Carmen! your camera doesn't like me!'

 More toilet shots

A night out is never a night out without toilet shots

Enough of party pictures. Let me show you something super-duper adorable!

I think the only reason I watched that movie was to listen to her talk. SHE'S SO CUTE, I WANT TO HAVE A CHILD! (although I'm far from ready to have one). 

I need an engineer, a pharmacist, a project manager and an experienced marketeer to help me out.

xoxo, -carmen-

Its The Holidays!

My last post was sad and picture-less I shall pimp this one up. Easter holidays for 3 weeks before revision classes begin and then three weeks of slow death - EXAMS. Ewwwww! 

With my girls.

Had high tea with my girls today and we were building castles in the air - three of us married to rich men and all we had to do was to bum around all year round. BUT as far as I'm concerned, the three of us are not all beauty and no brain. We got it all - Brain, Boob, Beauty & Butt; hence independent women! (And yes, V, you'll be the first to be married.. I foresee myself being the last).

 In case you haven't noticed, I have chopped my hair.

Vain is not my name, confidence is 

This Easter break makes me feel like a sadist - Nowhere to go. I am in Europe but... ahh! I should consider going on a holiday by myself (but then I'll have to bear all the consequences and I'm pretty sure my parents will disagree to my idea!). Pfffttt! 

 My youngest brother is cooler than me

He finally kept his busha-busha (a sibling joke) away and started with the guitar

The only two left at home

I miss home. I hate not being able to see my youngest brother grow up. I like his Pikachu-like cheeks. So pinch-able. I hate but secretly like the fact that he is spoilt. I wonder what it feels like to be the youngest child. I was once the one and only child till my brother popped out 3 years later, then the evil sister then out of the blue, that tiny fat monkey. 

When I grow up and have kids, I want my kids to be close to one and another just like how I am close to my siblings. My parents did a great job tying us together, reminding us the importance of having our siblings as our best friends.

My dearest sister, by the time you've read this, you would have answered your 'tell me about yourself' question at the interview. I am sure you did great! *heart sign* (another sibling joke)

I have set the possibly impossible for myself - I will not sleep UNLESS I have figured out 2 chapters from Quantitative Methods. 

Till then, someone please whisk me away from this 

xoxo, -carmen-

Funny.

You see, I have this habit of trying to remember every single moment in my life especially the happy ones. I take pictures. I write. I keep tickets. Price tags. Paper bags from shopping. I even have a bag of receipts from MOST of my shopping. Hence, the thought of ME moving out is like a stab in my heart (not that I'm moving out any sooner but I still need to look for a place before they kick me out in August. Hmphh!)

I supercalifragilisticexpialidociously enjoy lying on my bed, watching TV dramas through my faithful companion with a glass of Castillo Varez. Unfortunately, the shit loads of work that I have to attend to refrains me from doing so (but I suppose people who know me well would actually disagree to the aforesaid statement).

Things have changed since the beginning of the year.

a) The smell of alcohol makes me want to throw up. 

b) The idea of partying doesn't seem appealing. 

c) I signed up for a gym membership.

d) I have The Economist at my doorstep every fortnight.

e) I was once very judgemental about almost everything but right now, its more like a I-Don't-Know-I-Won't-Judge.

Weird. But I think its a step of moving forward. My perceptions have changed after being the silent observer for several months. It wasn't easy to shut up and see/hear things go around but that was how I learned and I can tell you, I'm back. Stronger. Better. 

I am looking forward to three utmost important things right now:

a) My postgraduate application

b) Internship during summer

c) Responses from the gazillion CVs that I have submitted (and will be submitting)

This week's the first week of Easter hols but unlike last year, yours faithful will be stuck in Bristol. Let me achieve my Distinction first, make my first £1000 through Forex (thanks Gor, you got me hooked onto it just by having a short conversation with me) then I'll travel till my heart's content. 

But at least I get to look forward to my short-trip to London in two week's time =)

Just to get away. Me likey! 

xoxo, -carmen-

Such A Pain But Someday I'll Be Grateful

As always, I shouldn't be writing a post at the moment. I tend to procrastinate AHHH-LOT! Yes, I'm actually a very busy person, just don't be deceived by what you see on Facebook. 

Happy Bugs Bunny New Year to all you readers! Unmarried ones, please tie the knot. I'll be the first to knock on your door next year (did you not hear the latest news? I MIGHT be going back for CNY next year hopefully not for good though!). Married ones, you know where to find me, muchas gracias!

Note: I reckon you turn your laptop anti-clockwise due to the following pictures. I DID rotate them but I do not know why it is still like that. It would also be funny to see you tilting your head while checking these out!

Guess what's one of the Spring/Summer 2011 trend? SHIRTS! Tailored silk, cropped and mandarin collar styles. Me likey! And how did I find out you may wonder. I am an online shopper freak and one of my favourite websites (Warning: Do not blame me if you go on an impulse buying behaviour) mailed me their magazine FOR. FREE. considering that I am a regular customer. 

Putting all those aside, I am still struggling to come up with a viable hypothesis for my PhD proposal. Its either a job or a PhD. I am not ready to leave this country. And yes, since I'm one step closer to becoming Dr. Leong Carmen, why not go all the way? The more I strain my eyes with all the journals, the more I feel that I'll never be able to finish the proposal. Somehow, people have already researched on every single researchable issue. 

Till then, remember that your ego is going to break you some day. You know who you are =)

xoxo, -carmen-

Scattered All Over

Usually, you would expect me to post pictures of my night outs/getaways alongside with the intimate details once you've seen the pictures itself on Facebook. 

I guess the pictures are self-explanatory. Fun. Friendship. Beautiful people. 

The people you mix with changes you. No doubt about that. I've just been the quiet observer for the past month and OH BOY! I don't even want to get started on it. The saying 'birds of the same feather flock together' is undeniably true. I do not understand how some could be so ignorant over a certain issue. I'm not saying that I'm perfect (note the title of the blog) but at the very least, I acknowledge my little imperfections. 

I turned 21 a few months back and made a silent vow to myself. It changed so many things, things that I had to reluctantly forgo. One thing the business world had thought me 'Always cover up your ass no matter what kinda shit comes out'.

My mind is scattered all over the places right now for some particular reason. This post may not even make sense to some of you and I sincerely apologize for wasting a few precious minutes of your life (but hey, thanks for reading it). 

Right now, I'm so afraid of looking up because this is what I get (for your info, finals is not till May)

I dare face my fears. How about you?

This term: 

- 50% coursework for three of the papers.

- Law itself is a killer. Same goes to Economics. Combine those two, you do the math!

- I have to study three of the papers that I struggled most last term.

Till then, I've got no fucking time for your childishness. Nuff' said.

xoxo, -carmen-

O.M.G.

Have you ever lost someone so close to you and regret later in life that you did not have an opportunity to know that person better? 

I have.

Have you seen someone whom you grew up with suffered in pain up to the very last moment?

I have.

The worst time of my life and I shall not elaborate further simply because I know how painful it is and I do not want YOU to go through it. Yes, YOU - the one reading this.

CANCER, our number one enemy. Even with all the technology advancement, we have yet to find a cure to it. We can fly men to outer space. Scientists even researched on the possibility of having us all move to planet Mars. We worry about getting the latest Apple products. Corruption. Civil wars. What is wrong with this world? Do you really want to see a child going through the painful processes of chemotherapy? The countless operations? NO! 

2011, let it be the start of something new, something MEANINGFUL.

In collaboration with Pusat Perubatan University Malaya (PPUM), KDU Pre-U Department will be kicking off year with O.M.G. (Oh My Girl, based on the adaptation of Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew) charity play for the Children's Cancer Fund, PPUM. 

A KDU student production =)

Thank you to all of you who were involved for putting in so much effort for a good cause!

The Children's Cancer Fund is to help children aged 6 months to 17 years old to get access to necessary treatments and operations for them to survive our number one enemy, Cancer. A child needs RM6000 (appx. £1200) per cycle of chemotherapy (and mind you, cancer cannot be cured in just one session!). Watch this short clip and you'll know what I mean.

O.M.G., the play, will be held on the 26th, 27th and 29th of January 2011. Details are as follows:

Date & Time: 26 Jan 2011 (Wed), 2pm

Price: RM 15

Dress Code: Smart Casual

Date & Time: 27 Jan 2011 (Thurs), 7pm

Price: RM 15

Dress Code: Smart Casual

Date & Time: 29 Jan 2011 (Sat), 7pm

Price: RM 100/200 (Tickets inclusive of a 3 course Italian Meal). 8-seater tables available at RM800/RM1600.

Dress Code: Black Tie

- For tickets (and donations), contact Kelvin Hong (0167536798) and Yi Lyn (0174060677)

RM15 from YOU, is that too much to ask for? Cut down on your phone bill, teh-tarik sessions, alcohol and cigarettes for A WEEK and you can buy time and perhaps lives for these children! Busy with work? Uni?Assignments? No time? These children who are in need of help are in a worse position compared to you! They go through pain physical, mentally and emotionally and THEY ARE AGED BETWEEN 6 months to 17 years old. 

Think about this, we were once the future generation, and thanks to our forefathers, we did it. They are NOW, OUR future generation, it becomes OUR responsibilities to help them.

Don't you think it is about time for you to stock up on your karma points? 

Cheers to the New Year!

xoxo, -carmen-

Away From Home

Being away from home makes me an awful person. 

a) I have been falling ill for the past 3 months. Must be the lack of mummy's cooking and all her herbal soup that I sometimes dread drinking. Yes, I can cook a decent meal (stop laughing!) but its just incomparable to Mummy's =(

b) I miss ganging up with Papa when it comes to football to tease my sucker brother who (still) supports Liverpool

c) Sharing stories with Manwyn and Carven. Telling each other about everything. Making jokes about almost everyone we know.

The two people who knows EVERY.SINGLE.THING. about me

d) Smacking Carven's ass and then chase each other around the house (yes, I still do that till today!)

e) And I miss THE annoying Manxen who just enjoys answering back while showing silly faces. And his 'Jie Jie, I want something' hugs

Big Fat Buffalo.

'Three of my elder siblings are awesome but I'm not because my mother found me in the dustbin' - That was one of his facebook statuses. HAHA!

f) Most of all, I would do anything for a Siblings Outing Day (which is almost difficult for us to arrange one now considering that Manwyn will be flying off to Aussie in a month's time and we have different holiday timings and the probability of Carven leaving for America in a year's time or so)

 I want to go back to this Japanese restaurant, please tell Papa that!

 Way before the last monkey was born

 Would you ever kiss me like this right now, brother?

OHGOD! I think I just puked, swallowed it and puked again. 

 Stop growing any taller!

Finally.

It sucks when you come from such a close-knitted family and then you have to be away from home for a VERY VERY long time. I'm sure my parents feel even worse when the thought of all four of their kids being separated to different continents crosses their minds. I'm tearing already.

Uni has started but I have yet to attend a single lecture no thanks to the damn fever and sore throat and gastric attacks and back-aches. Story of my life. Sheeessshh... But you know what? I'm a strong girl, I can go through this. 

Now, let me get back to working on my presentation with me wrapped in my soft duvet. I love presentations! Whoopppiieee! (in case of any misinterpretations, I wasn't being sarcastic. I mean during presentations, I get to think on my feet regarding a subject and I love the adrenaline rush, and not to forget the attention I get while I'm speaking!)

Till then, maybe I should consider being a politician! What say you?


xoxo, -carmen-

Guess Who's Back This Year?!

So, the last time I wrote an entry was almost 6 months ago. Things have changed. SO MANY. So many ups and downs - mainly downs if you are one of them who knows the things that I had to go through (and by definition of 'one of them', I refer to my closest friends who get to know things FROM ME). 

Yes, backstabbers, haters, rumour-spreaders, whoever.... All I need is a good cry to reboot my life - you did not kill me, you just made me stronger and I thank you for that from the bottom of my heart 

My three guardian angels. I don't know what I did in the past to deserve the three of you

 Shereen, I'll build a bridge from here to Malaysia just for you

Ivan, your constant protection from the bad and the evil

 Justin, thanks for doing whatever you can just to carve a smile on my face - and that includes free hairstyling!

Langkawi, one of the best moments in our lives! I cant wait for the three of you to be here!

With the help of Facebook, you may have noticed these (in no particular chronological order):

1) The girls came up with a witty idea for Xmas 

I cant seem to find the rotate button although the original picture isn't vertically challenged

2) I am precisely 8 months away from being a Masters holder - meaning one step to becoming Dr. Leong Carmen. Masters is a pain in the ass, it challenges me mentally, physically and emotionally but it is just one of my constant rants.

I did it, Mummy & Papa! I told you I'll go back for Summer with a First Class Degree. Thank you for putting up with me, being a stubborn headed pig, I know that it wasn't easy!

3) I celebrated my 21st birthday. Yes, 21 (apparently, people still take me as a joke. Why? Because I'm the youngest here. See the crap I have to deal with at times?). At least I am at the stage whereby I could still go around telling other people of my age. HA. HA. 

Carved.

4) And the much awaited proclamation, I am a free bird. And I quote YPS 'Why the hell do I feel like I'm talking to Serena Van Der Woodsen?' I'm sorry I had to put you through so much of my crap. I am grateful for your scoldings =)

My better half =)

On a serious note, I don't know what made me blog again.. Maybe it is the need to express myself, the need to just be alone and reflect on things, the need to send a subtle message across, I am not sure.. I have contained so many emotions inside me. I pretend to smile, I pretend that everything is alright but deep down, I'm like a ticking time bomb. Talking to someone does help, but its temporal. 

OH WELL, SMILE CARMEN, SMILE.

Till then, toodles

xoxo, -carmen-