I'm sorry

Confidence. Trust. Belief. Assurance.

The synonym for the words above? FAITH.

In the context of friendship, I have faith in all my friends. In fact, the minute you give me a good first impression, you have my trust already. 

The people I trust whole heartedly

In the context of love, that is a WHOLE NEW DIFFERENT STORY. I try to protect myself from the endless nights of crying. It takes me ages to actually have 100% belief in my significant other. I sometimes feel bad but I just cannot help myself to think of the worse case scenario when my calls are not answered or when my messages are not replied. 

My past 2 relationships ended because of broken faith. When it happened the first time, I repeatedly told myself not to let it happen again but I failed to secure myself from it occuring again. Life's a bitch! (So am I)

For the first time, I actually got myself into a LDR (Long Distance Relationship), not to say that its a bad thing. However, at times, it can be so difficult. I try to fight back the scenarios which keeps on playing in my head till I stress myself out so much that I just want to give up but I don't want to. I'll start throwing unnecessary fits and I know it hurts my other half. 

I just want him to know that it takes time for me to trust the person I love because of the events which has happened in the past and I'm learning to overcome it. I just want him to know that I'm sorry for dragging him along into this situation and all I need is time.

It is mine too, baby

He makes me smile everyday :)

(sorry girls, he's mine now and forever)

xoxo, -carmen-