So, I was enduring the exciting mundane journey from Nilai to Tasik Selatan. It wasn't that bad, really. I mean I was squashed between a guy and a girl, the sun was burning my shoulders, the smell of burnt rubber each time the doors open and towards the end of my journey, a coughing man sitting beside of me (And later, my loving boyfriend told me that there are 9 confirmed H1N1 cases in KL). That doesn't sound too bad, right?
Throughout the 40mins journey, yours truly came up with an ideal plan to annoy your worse other half.
Text him saying that there's a hot guy eyeing you and coincidentally, your top shows off your cleavage
Compare him to any of your ex-boyfriends
Nag over the same topic. Best if done 3 times a day. Preferably before meals cause an empty stomach is an angry man
Take ages to get ready, even if it means going to the mamak nearby
Drag him into a lingerie shop and seek his opinion. Actually, INSIST for his opinion. Speak out loud.
Smile at a/several good-looking stranger(s) and make sure he sees it each time
Throw unnecessary tantrums
Be jealous over the slightest thing
When he repeatedly tells you not to do something, DO IT!
And lastly,
The moment he climbs onto the bed, pull him towards you and kiss him passionately. Then slowly (and passionately) make your way towards his junior (pun fully intended), pull down his boxers, tell him that you need "it" badly, move your way back up to his lips, kiss him gently (by now, he would have hardened otherwise something is wrong somewhere) and swiftly, go back to your original position and sleep
If he decides to leave you for a virgin cheerleader afterwards, then you'll know that he's not worth your time and effort. If he doesn't, you have found your soulmate :)
xoxo, -carmen-
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