That's the end of it

18 months and 20 days. That's about 550 days or in other words 13200 hours. 

The first time I set my eyes on you, I knew that we could be like Houdini. But it actually took me 13200 hours to realise that I was wrong. Some saw it coming sooner and had daringly placed a bet. We proved them wrong. But they were persistent and just knew that it was impossible for us to keep on winning.

You changed so much this past few months. It hurts me to see you like that but I just kept it to myself and thought maybe you are just going through a phase. You finally admitted yesterday (you just had to do it 2 days before my final examination and you damn well know how much exams mean to me). I don't blame you for it. You were just being too futuristic and you are plain CHILDISH. Dammit

I'm sure you know me well enough to know that I would rather give up on someone if that person has to choose between me and his parents. I don't want to see you living in confusion. Well, now that its the end of it, you probably thought that I would have had a sleepless night last night but guess what? It's been ages since I had a good night's sleep. I feel so much lighter (though the occassional flashbacks still occur but what the hell!).

Thanks for the good times (I'll take it as memories in Nilai). Thanks for the bad times (it taught me to be a better future gf). My eyes have dried up for you. Maybe deep down, I kinda saw it coming but I was living in denial. Yes, it did occur to me that you were probably not ready to commit yourself as yet. Screw you for that for I'm a stronger person now! 

p/s who's next on the list? Mr. Right, where art thou?

xoxo, -carmen-