Now I Remember

You know how you will make statements like 'I'll never cook because of [insert silliest reason]' or 'I'll never date a guy who smokes and drinks' and then you go on to doing it and when shit happens you go 'AH! NOW I REMEMBER'?

Yes, I think it happens to everyone. You can ask Mr. Simon Chow and he can tell you that I once said 'I'll never date a smoker' but hey, as far as I can remember, the last three men I dated/slaved for are smokers. 

Then, I once said (and still say it till this very second) that 'I'll try my best not to cook sizzling oil freaks the shit out of me'. Recently, I tried helping out in the kitchen and ta daaa

See that three red dots?

I'm being childish here. Some of you are even laughing. But I have a fear. Fear of sizzling oil. 

Ahh well, the idea that 'Women must cook to please their men' is just so overrated. Women back in the World War days had to stay at home because of their safety. Women today, well, WE are as smart and as hard-working as men and WE can earn as much money as men. It is just that men would rather have their significant other earn lesser than them because of their personal ego. WHAT THE HECK? Look at it this way, why the hell will any man want people to say 'oh his wife is all beauty but no brain'? Also, if you are a parent, I am very sure you will want your son to have a wife who can bring home some ka-ching instead of a wife who sits at home and depend on your son, no?

Back to my initial point, some may not admit this but we are all a bunch of hypocrites. It is the degree of it that differentiates one person from another. I remember saying 'I'll never date someone who can't speak english' but yeah.. I shall not touch on that issue.

So many times I sit and wonder if for all the times I said 'never', I'll actually end up doing it. I am sometimes afraid that I'll use the 'never' list to define myself. It is hard to resist temptation at times. I struggle to get out of it but I eventually fall deeper into the uncanny traps. I am in my early 20's and this is the time I take to do aplenty of soul searching. I dare take risks, I dare fall and I know that for each time I fall, I'll come back even stronger. What if, touchwood, I fall into a hole so deep I find it hard to stand up on myself? 

In a bid to achieve one of my many dreams

I did it before reaching the age of 22.

Thank you to those who once thought that I was nothing but a airheaded bitch

'Always and Never are two words you should always remember never to use'

xoxo, -carmen-